You’ve just recently gotten engaged. You’re excited to spend the rest of your life with the person of your dreams. To this point, your relationship has been nothing but great.
So, you’re wondering: why would you need couples counseling before marriage? For a variety of reasons, actually. We’ll discuss them in detail below.
1. It Helps You to Set Expectations for Your Future
Couples consist of two people with two differing worldviews. Ideally, these worldviews are similar. Note, though, that they aren’t always, and if they’re not, huge gulfs can end up opening up between the two individuals in the relationship.
A marriage has a difficult time withstanding this sort of ongoing challenge. If they don’t, the relationship will almost certainly suffer and be a struggle at some point.
This is where pre-marriage counseling can come in. By engaging in counseling prior to getting married, you can become familiar with each others’ expectations for the future. You can then examine how each set of expectations aligns, and try to mold them together in the most seamless way possible.
If you don’t engage in pre-marriage counseling, you might never get around to discussing each one’s viewpoints. You and your partner could have totally different plans for the future, but with no knowledge of the fact. This would most certainly bode poorly for the future as you would learn this, likely in the midst of making big decisions which could feel like a crisis for one or both.
Schedule pre-marriage counseling and establish what each of you wants out of life. Doing so could work wonders in the long-term.
2. It Helps You to Put Issues on the Table
Whether they are big or small or somewhere in between, issues exist in each and every relationship. Fortunately, many of these issues can be worked out. All it takes is a bit of discussion, identification of differences and compromise.
Of course, having conversations about relationship issues is easier said than done. For some, it’s so difficult that it never actually happens. As such, in many cases, the issue fester, poisoning the relationship from the inside out.
Want to prevent this from happening? Signing up for pre-marriage counseling wouldn’t be a bad idea. Counseling will provide you both with a space in which you can share your issues freely.
Yes, this could cause some confrontation in the short-term. However, in the long-term, it could actually go on to save your relationship in its entirety, and you would engaging proactively rather than reactively.
Remember: you don’t want to enter a marriage with potential big issues unidentified. Learn to talk about hard issues from the very beginning and give your relationship the best chance possible with good communication patterns from the start!
3. It Fosters Communication
Without good communication, a relationship isn’t much of a relationship at all. This is particularly true in romantic relationships, where emotions are left vulnerable, and where even the slightest lack of communication could cause those emotions to swelter.
Fortunately, pre-marriage counseling can go a long way in improving a couple’s inner-relationship communication skills. Your counselor can teach you methods for proper communication, ensuring that you both get your thoughts and feelings across without causing confrontation.
Note, marriages go through all kinds of trials and tribulations. The stresses of adult life can wear thin on relationship partners. The only way you’ll get through these stresses is by engaging in thorough communication.
4. It Helps You Become More Familiar With Your Partner
You may think you know a lot about your partner. However, you can never know everything. There is always something new to learn.
This is where premarital counseling can be a huge help. Because counseling provides a space in which you and your partner can voice your deepest thoughts and concerns, it allows you to understand each other to an extent that you never have before.
What’s the importance of this greater understanding? It fosters empathy in the relationship, strengthening the bonds that tie together you and your partner.
5. It Provides You With Useful Strategies
Professional counselors are well-versed in their areas of expertise. They possess knowledge and strategies that are not possessed by the common population. By meeting with a counselor, you can have these strategies passed down to you.
There are all sorts of strategies you can take advantage of, from communication strategies to conflict resolution strategies to bonding strategies and more. These can be hugely beneficial in strengthening your marriage over the years.
So, if you’re looking to improve your relationship from the get go, pre-marital counseling is a terrific idea.
6. It Helps You Ensure That Your Values Align
Another reason to engage in pre-marital counseling is that it helps you ensure that you and your partner’s values align. This is very important, as your values are the basis of who you both are as people. If your values don’t align, respect will eventually be lost, and the relationship has a higher risk of failing.
Maybe you’ve been with your partner for years? Perhaps you already have an understanding of the things your partner stands for? Even if this is true, a check-up wouldn’t be a bad idea.
The last thing you want to do is to enter a marriage with differing belief systems. Thoughts on politics, thoughts on religion, thoughts on children, etc.; all of these factors could either make or break your marriage.
7. It Reminds You of the Seriousness of Marriage
Some say that marriage is just words on a piece of paper, that it’s not any different from a pre-marriage relationship. But that’s not quite true. Marriage is much more serious and signifies a level of dedication that is not expected in pre-marriage relationships.
Pre-marriage counseling can help to exemplify the seriousness of the decision that you’re about to make. It can help you ensure that you’re making the right decision and that you’re with the person with whom you want to be with for the rest of your life.
Looking to Take Part in Couples Counseling Before Marriage?
What do you say? Interested in taking part in couples counseling before marriage? If so, and if you’re in the Albuquerque, New Mexico area, Talking Circles Wellness & Therapy has you covered.
Contact us today to schedule an appointment!